is being picky really a bad thing?
growing up…i was super weird about fruit (and by growing up, i mean up until 6 months ago). i had a ridiculously obnoxious phobia of bananas (still do), refused to eat any berries that came into (even momentary) contact with melons, and would have an absolute fit if even a spritz of peach juice came in my direction (i’ve always aired towards the more dramatic).
my parents were in constant outrage at my pickiness, refusing to accept this as a part of me. my mom was always trying to find new ways to get me to eat fruit (how dare she), disguising banana bread as “chocolate-chip bread” and putting perfectly-round and completely unblemished clementines in my lunch every day in the hopes they’d be cute and mini and ‘perfect’ enough for me to eat (they never were). fruit-flavored snacks…sure. but an orange slice…forget it. i was an absolute dream to bring out to eat!
it’s funny though, because i consider myself a pretty open-minded person — try everything once and twice if you like it.
but for some reason, i’ve always been really picky about certain things. and for a while, i really hated that about myself. i take pride in my desire to try and experience new things and i feel like a fraud calling myself openand adventurousif that isn’t applicable to every aspect of my life.
but i was thinking about it — being picky — and what it really means. i’m particular. i have my own opinions. i have “higher standards” for myself. i only want and deserve THE BEST *eyelash bat, hair flip.*
i mean…being picky isn’t all just a way to describe someone who hasn’t been in a relationship with anyone in a while (right mom?!).
‘picky’ sounds like a bad word. like ‘needy’ or ‘cocky.’ but i don’t really think being picky is a bad thing.
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the other day, someone said to me, “sara, how do you have the greatest friends?” and it got me thinking…how do ihave the greatest friends?
i mean…i’ve always valued quality over quantity (because i’m hashtag wholesome), and while i pride myself on my ability to connect with lots of people, i am pretty selective about who i keep close.
and i really mean it when i say i have the absolute loveliest friends. that’s probably the one aspect of my life i’m most proud of.
but i don’t think i have such sweet-souled, wonderful people by my side purely based on circumstance. i think it’s because i’m picky. i have high standards about who i surround myself with and how i spend my time. i know my worth and so do my friends. we don’t have time to waste forming relationships that won’t last. it’s forever or never BABYYYYY.
and sue me for having high standards, right?! i’m not asking to fly business class, or to only date guys with perfectly-chiseled jawlines and a good personality (let me know if anyone finds one). but i don’t want to waste my time with people who aren’t constantly gassing me up and making me feel like an absolute QWEEEN, whether we’re out partying til the break of dawn (yo) or vegging out on the couch, sweatpants, hair-tied and chilling with absolutely zero makeup on (i’m really really good at doing both). is that such a crime???
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the other night, i was sitting on my couch with two of my best friends…we’re three glasses of wine in and we start talking out how we value ourselves (stimulating convo i know). a lot has changed for each of us in the past few months…things that have forced us to each question what we think is important and what we feel we deserve (aside from the obvious basics: happiness, health, success, and love).
for me, a lot’s changed. mostly goodthings: i officially got an apartment in the city. i was promoted at work and really love what i’m doing. i’ve made friends that I already know will walk me down the aisle. my social life hasn’t been this vibrant since i was in high school and i haven’t felt this happy and secure and confident in a while. i’ve been waking up every day feeling so frkn lucky and loved and it’s frkn fantastic.
but at the same time, some changes haven’t been so great. i’ve recently outgrown a friendship that i thought would last a lifetime. and that’s been sad. i hate losing people that are close to me. it’s a pain that I think we can all resonate with on some level. but there comes a time when you have to take a step back and realize what is good for you and what isn’t. you have to be picky and know what you deserve. and sometimes, you just gotta let that shit goooooo. (UPDATE: we have since reconnected and mended our friendship).
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sometimes being picky can have it’s setbacks. it may have caused me to have lower levels of vitamin c growing up, or may be the cause of some illness i contract when i’m 60. i’m never allowed to pick where we go out to dinner and i am the constant victim of family torment when anything relationship-related is brought up. i’ve heard the line, “you’re too picky” come up at the dinner table more times than i can count.
but honestly, i don’t really mind it anymore. i like that i’m picky. it means i have good taste. that i know what i deserve and who makes me happy. i won’t just settle for anything. it might not be caviar and Chris Hemsworth (yet), but we’ll get there.
and trick me into eating anything with a banana and i will COME FOR YOU.
